Valentine's, Toi et Moi, Charm, Etc.
A very brief history of a classic style, and where to get it.
A few years ago, when I was trying to figure out what ring to propose with, I was pretty deep in research. My budget wasn’t huge and for very legitimate reasons I wasn’t interested in solitaires (despite their near ubiquitous appeal). That left a pretty wide and creative range to work with. So I started poring over all sorts of styles and eventually found toi et moi rings, which were sort of ”trending” at the time. These pieces, whether rings or necklaces or whatever, are set with two stones — most commonly you’ll see a pear and a round brilliant or oval cut. You can see the logic: one stone for toi, one stone for moi (you and me in French). They looked refreshing, unique.
The most famous toi et moi ring is probably the oldest the engagement ring Napoleon I gave to Joséphine de Beauharnais. This ring, widely reproduced today, was set with a sapphire and a white diamond, both measuring at about a carat. When he popped the question, he was financially secure, but not yet the historical figure he would become. (Still, two carats for somebody obsessed with grandiosity is hilarious to me.) Their love was intense and well-documented, but their marriage was ended when Josephine could not conceive an heir. They remained deeply affectionate. Centuries later, the ring was sold at auction for just under a million dollars in 2013.
Across an ocean and many years later, John F. Kennedy proposed to Jacqueline Onassis with a much more ostentatious toi et moi ring from Van Cleef & Arpels (picked out by his father, actually). This ring swapped the sapphire for an emerald and upped the carats on both that and the diamond significantly. What’s more they were set were on a diamond and emerald band. Quite the piece. Maybe too much so, honestly.
Modern takes on the style favor the simpler original design. Ariana Grande received a two-stone engagement ring from her ex-husband Dalton Gomez. Hers had an 8-carat honker of a diamond and a pearl she inherited from her grandfather’s tie pin (also her birth stone). Machine Gun Kelly proposed to Meagan Fox with an emerald and diamond version, Emily Ratajkowski had a double diamond for her engagement.
Here’s where I’d note that none of these marriages really went according to plan. Not one of the aforementioned couples lasted. But, you can hardly blame that on the rings — celebrity relationships just always seem doomed. And remember, Napoleon and Josephine were die hards who ended their marriage for political reasons, not for lack of love. (They must have been so fun to hang out with. Like I bet they were insane.)
My ring research continued, but in the end, with some jewelry guidance from our friend
I proposed to Alex with a three stone ring – a bezel set sapphire flanked with two old European diamonds. (You can read all about it here on ’s Cup of Jo.)I figured we could save the toi et moi for another occasion, which is exactly what we did. Though, I went with a necklace version instead. I dropped a few more varying options below, just in case you’re in the market for a romantic (or, duh Valentine’s) gift.
Marrow Black Diamond Ring: This falls squarely in the fine jewelry category, but the classic black and white combo applied to diamonds is pretty striking. Very good for an “opposites attract” sort of relationship. Or if you love oreos.
Ring Concierge Diamond Ring: About as classic as you could get here. Beautiful stones on a simple band. Minimalist but statement-making at once.
Aurate Gemstone Ring: Here, you’re given a lot more control and choice, which is always welcome. Aurate will let you choose your metals gemstones from a host of colorful choices. Depending on your choices, this is also the most affordable option since you’re not necessarily dealing with precious stones.
Yvonne Leon Mother of Pearl Ring: This is maybe stretching the concept a bit, but it’s 2025 and this technically is a two stone ring, so we’ll allow it. It’s certainly a unique take, but the two small diamonds set in mother of pearl are very good.
Kojis Antique Sapphire and Diamond Ring: A vintage piece, so there’s only one to go around, but a unique and wavy take on the toi et moi style.
Ring Concierge Necklace: This is the one Alex has. She prefers dainty and minimalist pieces and these stones offer just the right amount of shine.
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